What does it mean to 'be present'?: understanding needs and wants
We all have needs and wants that we strive to meet every day. These are sometimes called emotional objectives. We may want or need respect, control, or help throughout the course of a day. The first step in training is having participants experience and identify needs and wants (e.g., I want respect or approval) in a given situation, a critical step necessary before you can begin to actively listen to others. This crucial first step grounds participants in an awareness of their own motivations, experiences, and space, and importantly, teaches participants to be in the present.
For example, a doctor may want the trust of the child and family in his/her care in order to move forward, or a teacher may want respect or control in their classroom (and a child may want equal control or respect). Understanding your own needs and wants allows you to then identify the needs and wants of others using active listening skills learned in ETT™ training.
Needs / wants: emotional objectives
I need / want control
I need / want respect
I need / want help
I need / want love
I need / want your trust
I need / want to play
I need / want to get attention
I need / want to get approval
I need / want to antagonize
Research shows that a high level of self-awareness, understanding your own needs and wants, is critical to then being able to identify the needs and wants of others.
WHy does Understanding needs and wants Matter?
ETT™ teaches you to experience and identify the needs of others, perhaps during an interaction between a psychiatrist and parent, or during a conversation between a parent and child. For example, a child may say to a parent, "I hate you," but it really is a cry for help; or a parent may feel that their child's teacher is the worst teacher ever, but may approach the teacher to learn strategies to help their child learn in the classroom setting. Understanding the needs of others improves communication.